… although most of you know what a hopeless romantic I am, so I feel like I can let some thoughts out.
As I sit on my unmade bed at 11:30 on a Saturday morning, I just got hit with a wave of thoughts. Well, “thought” really:
"Why does my anxiety get so high when I am romantically involved with someone?"
I think *think* I’ve figured out the answer. I know a lot of you have this same issue, so I thought I would share my insight.
When I’m in relationships, the first few weeks are all happy, great, no worries. As soon as I start to realize that things could last a while, my anxiety skyrockets. I’ve realized that it’s because once my heart gets involved, it’s a whole different game.
I’ve been hurt many times in relationships. Most of the time, I didn’t see it coming. I have a fear of getting my heartbroken, and as much as I love being ‘in love,” this fear dominates. It consumes you to the point where you can’t even enjoy being in love. You never, ever forget what getting your heart broken feels like after it’s happened. It’s probably one of the worst feelings other than a death.
When I get to this point in a relationship, I get all sorts of obscure, untrue thoughts like, “what if I don’t really like him that much? What if I end up staying with him because I feel like I can’t leave? What if he breaks up with me and breaks my heart again? Can I handle that? What if I fall out of love and have to break his heart? What if I’m not attracted to him enough” blah blah etc. etc.
Another thing I do is overthink EVERYTHING. I mean to the point where I think if he doesn’t do something a certain way, it means he doesn’t like me anymore and is going to break up with me.
I think this is all me throwing my guard up and trying to catch something so I can get out “before I get my heart broken.” It’s me trying to establish some sort of control because we all know how out of control love is. But I had a moment this morning where I realized that the kind of crazy, fearless, inconvenient and soul-consuming love I want, I won’t achieve by being afraid of it and overanalyzing it. I’ve decided that to get great love, you do have to take a leap. You have to surrender your whole heart and put it in someone else’s hands. It’s terrifying, but I’d rather go all in and get my heart miserably broken than look back at every relationship that ended *with my heart still broken* and realize I didn’t give my whole heart.
All my lovers out there, put your guards down and give your hearts away. My guess is that you’ll experience a love unlike anything you’ve ever felt. ❤️
Here it is! Hope you like it! ☺️❤️
I think something we’re all guilty of is thinking the “what ifs.”
"What if he doesn’t like me?"
“What if he was the one and I’ll never be that happy again?”
“What if I’m going crazy?”
“What if my life doesn’t go how I want it to?”
Etc, etc, etc.
I know I’m guilty of it… And I’ve noticed that when I’m at my most anxious is when the “what ifs” spiral out of control. I know it’s hard to do, because trust me I’m trying, but all I can worry about is right now. It’s like I always say… No matter how many times you play a scenario out in your head, it never goes the way you think it will. Why do we waste so much time worrying/trying to predict the future? Why do we spend so much time dwelling on what’s gone and past? I’m here right now. I can’t change what’s happened in my life up to this point and I can’t know what will happen tomorrow. The one thing I can do is work hard in the moment. Work towards something I want… Why am I worrying about what everyone else thinks of me? So what if I stutter a little when I tell that story. Will I remember that in 20 years? No, I won’t.
You need to walk into a room a people thinking, “will I like anyone here?” Not… “Will anyone here like me?”
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that being comfortable with who you are as a person, NOT how you look on the outside, is the most important thing. One day we’ll all be old and wrinkly and no one will give a damn about how great you looked in that bikini. Sure it’s nice to feel good about your appearance, but it isn’t everything. I so envy people who just know who they are. I’m still trying to find myself every single day of my life, and it’s possibly the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I catch myself second guessing myself instead of just doing, worrying what other people are thinking about me, worrying that people are talking about me and saying negative things… WHO CARES WHAT THEY THINK!??! It’s me. I’m me. I’m Megan. If you don’t like it then BYE. I’ll go find someone who does like it.
I’m just so exhausted with worrying what everyone else has to say about me. What about what I have to say about me? I’m teaching myself how to love myself… And let me tell you, it’s hard. When you lose the things that you thought made up “you,” you find yourself lost.
If you’re lost right now, don’t worry… We’ll all find ourselves again someday. ❤️
So, if you didn’t know, Liz and I are doing a hometown show on June 20th to benefit Relay For Life. You can go to the actual show here:
OR…. you can watch the StageIt show and watch it live from your bed with pizza and pals. :) Tickets for that are here:
Now this show IS full band, and it’s with the same band we played with on tour (so I’m really excited) so it’s going to be a grand ole time!!
Love you guys so much and I hope to see ya there! :)
As most of you guys know, I’m a hopeless romantic. I believe in love and I will believe in love until the day I die. But as I get older, I’m realizing that love isn’t like they teach us in the movies… Love is different. Love is hard.
Everyone knows the first 6 months-a year of dating someone are all magical-movie like. Everyone thinks that’s what love is… But that’s just lust. Love is really truly loving and accepting someone for everything they are, through the good times, bad times, ups and downs, loving someone even when you hate them, and truly wanting the best for them. Making them a part of your life and putting in as much effort as you can because they matter that much to you. Love isn’t butterflies or infatuation… Love is loving someone after the butterflies are gone and it gets hard. Love is not being able to imagine life without someone.
It takes a lot of hard work to keep the butterflies in love. Relationships are hard work. But if you truly love someone and want them in your life, you work — but it shouldn’t feel like work. You should enjoy every second of it because it’s making not only you happy, but the other person happy.
So as you go forward with your next relationships, remember the joy of being able to share your life with someone who truly wants to be in your life. Because let’s face it, when you choose to love someone, or when someone chooses to love you, it’s unlike anything you’ll ever feel in your life.
Never be afraid to choose love.
One day you’ll choose right. We all will.
well, almost summer I guess. half-way through being 21, I’ve come to accept that this year is going to be a challenge. I never really realized how smooth sailing everything had been for the past 3 years until seas turned rough again.
I don’t think a lot of you know this, but I struggle with anxiety. As soon as I moved back to Nashville, my anxiety skyrocketed. I was just so confused about life, where everything was headed, bored, sad I left my best friends and I was nowhere near my family… I was just a little lost. I knew Nashville was where I needed to be, but I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why I wasn’t dancing on rainbows everyday. It got to a point where I couldn’t even get out of bed. I just wanted to sleep all day. I felt like I was losing myself, and my family did too. It was a really scary time for me.
My mom had the genius idea to take me to the doctor, just to make sure it wasn’t anything physical, and it turns out that I was diagnosed with a Vitamin D deficiency as well as Hypothyroidism, which since I’ve been on medicine has helped me out A LOT. I can now cope with things a little better. I think back to where I was a couple months ago and it’s like night and day… And I know it’ll only go up from here.
As far as this new EP goes, I’m so happy it’s finally coming out. These songs we’re releasing… I literally feel like I’m putting a part of my soul out into the world. They’re so “Megan & Liz” and I’ve never been so proud of something in my life. I’m nervous because it’s definitely different from our old music. If people don’t like this music, you don’t like Megan & Liz; and that’s fine with me. I’d rather be genuine with what I do than feel like I’m hiding. That’s what I’m learning about life… You can live it trying to please everyone else, or you can live it to please YOU. At the end of the day, you’re the one who looks back at your life, not anyone else. Do what makes you happy. Do what your gut tells you. Listen to that little voice in your head. Do what feels right. In the end everyone will have regrets, but the thing to remember is that everything that’s happened has led you to this point in your life. It’s 100% possible to have not just a bad day, but bad years. But you have to have faith in yourself and God that things will get better. You have to believe that one day you’ll be on top of that mountain again, and you’ll appreciate it that much more when you’re there. I know it’s hard, BELIEVE ME I KNOW, but it’s really all we have. Take the time to be nice to people, because you never know what demons they’re fighting. Being rude does nothing, but kindness can change lives.
At this point, I have no idea what’s going to happen, and that’s okay. I’m learning to take life day by day, because in reality that’s all we have. I’ve come to realize that everything I try and “imagine” or “play out in my head” never goes how I think it will. It’s made me realize that living in this very moment is the most important. I’m wasting my time imagining scenarios; especially when they’re usually “worst case scenarios.” Use your energy and thoughts to think about positive things happening here and now. You know when you see a dog, and they just look genuinely stoked on life? You know how you lived when you were 5 and the most important thing in life was “will mom let me ride my Barbie Jeep today?” That’s how I want to live. I know everything is based on planning for the future, but I just trust that everything will happen how it’s supposed to if you work hard and believe.
I love all of you so much and I can’t even begin to explain how much you guys hanging in there through all of this change means to me. It’s been the hardest 6 months of my life, but you guys have kept me going. You guys are my support system, whether you know it or not. I hope all of you remember that everything will be okay, and no matter how bad things get they’ll get better. Even when the storm clears, you’ll still have to clean up the damage. But just remember that one day you’ll be at the top of that mountain.
I hope it’s filled with love and good food. AAAAND mostly I hope you know how much I love all of you!>>
The iPhone Voice Memo Series — Ft. Me, Liz, and my guitar.
as some of you may know, Liz and I have been trying to get back to LA for the past 4 days, but instead Mother Nature has decided to dump 15 inches of snow on us and cancel every single flight in every single surrounding airport. michigan is a great place to visit……. in the summer. ;)
so as i sit here at the computer with a blizzard warning, legally not being able to drive on the roads because they’re so bad, and my frosted vanilla candle lit, i thought i’d share with you a little bit about what i’ve been learning about life and myself over the past few days.
just don’t. just stop. no matter how hard you plan for things to go a certain way or imagine scenarios in your head, it just freaking happens. sometimes better than what you imagined, and of course sometimes way worse. but ya know what? if we knew how everything was going to go all the time, life would be pretty damn boring, don’t ya think??
i know i say this way too often, but i feel like i need a daily reminder… so here’s yours: just be yourself. be happy being yourself. don’t change or try to change for anyone or anything. there’s someone out there that will love you for exactly who you are, whether that be a bookworm, a lazy bum for 5 days straight, a little crazy, a little jealous, overly-excited, whoever… but here’s the fun part; you have to be yourself in order for that person to find you. if anyone is judging you for your appearance/actions etc., you definitely don’t need them in your life. who are they to judge what you like to do/how you act? no one can do that. GOD doesn’t even do that! and i hate to break it to ya, but you’re not God. ;)
it’s really true what they say: “happiness is a state of mind.”
one of my new year’s resolutions was to stop negative talking myself and to shut that little negative voice up in my head whenever it comes out. and lemme tell you… when you’re actively aware of how much negativity you put in your head without thinking, it blows your mind. two days ago specifically, the entire day i stopped any negative thought that came into my brain and traded it out with a positive thought or the opposite of what i was thinking. two days ago was one of the best days i’ve had in a while. it’s a lot of work but seriously so worth it to me. ever since that day and proving my own theory correct, it’s been a constant struggle for me to keep it up, but i’m still trying every second of everyday. i’m a much happier person over these last few days, and i hope that carries on into 2014. maybe eventually it’ll just be a habit to think positively instead of negatively. that’s the ultimate goal here! :) surround yourself with people who build you up instead of tearing you down. if you can’t do that, be your own best friend. there will come a time in this crazy life of yours when you’ll have other best friends, but trust me, you always wanna have yourself.
i think this is something we all think about constantly; where will i go to school? what job will i have? who will i marry? will i have kids? how many? will i have grandkids etc etc etc.
here’s your answer: you’ll know when you know. stop worrying about what’s going to happen because IT’S GUNNA HAPPEN. God knows what’s going on upstairs, and in your life. enjoy the ride and don’t over-think. you can’t plan for anything (as i said earlier) including the big steps in life. and what’s more important? don’t rush them! think about it… you still have so many amazing moments in life to look forward to. one day, you’re only going to have a few. so instead of rushing them along or worrying about them, take each day for what it is; another day to be alive.
life is full of second chances. take ‘em. try not to mess ‘em up again. and realize that sometimes the things you miss most are the things you thought you wouldn’t.
i love all of you.
2014 is going to be an incredible year. i can feel it in my bones. ;)
WHAT’S UP GUYS!! :)
I realized that it’s been a little long since I wrote a blog, so here I am, sitting on my roof, sitting on a blanket (because I couldn’t find a beach towel.. My room is THAT messy) writing one!
We’re back “home” in LA today. And it’s nice to have a day off and do the things I can’t do on the road… Ya know like sleeping in my bed. Because my bed is BOMB. But at the same time, I LOVE how busy we’ve been lately. I’m literally always entertained and let me tell ya.. That is not an east task my friends. I’m one of those people who gets bored in the first 5 minutes of any sort of down time. For example… This morning Liz went to Starbucks without me (COOL) so I had the apartment to myself. I plugged in my iPhone and danced to music for about 4 songs… Then I was bored. HA HA. Life. Anyway I’m getting off topic. WE WENT TO TORONTO. This was our first time out of the country like… EVER. (T swift anyone?) and it was so. cool. It was probably one of my favorite experiences in life thus far. And as we all know… Life is full of moments. These moments make us who we are. I definitely had a moment… And it happened at MuchMusic. You guys that came out made me feel so loved and special and I can’t say thank you enough for that. It was a moment for me because we were in a different country… So it really clicked for me like wow. we’re working so hard and it’s making a difference not only for our music, but for you guys. I love how when I meet you guys, you’re always respectful, patient, and kind. I know I say this all the time but you are all wonderful people. Don’t let anyone tell you differently. So to sum it all up, I like you, Toronto.
Another big thing that happened last week was “Release You” officially went to radio. Now… The radio game is HARD. If I learned anything from “Bad for Me.” IT’S HARD K. But you have to believe. Life is all about believing in you and what you do. We aren’t Taylor Swift or Miley Cyrus, so this song is going to take a while to get up the charts, but I’m okay with that. I believe it will. We got 10 adds last week, which is great for a first week and I’m STOKED about that. For those of you who don’t know, an add means that a radio station “adds” your song into rotation. So 10 stations are now playing “Release You!” (Cue happy dance) and that’s only the start! Yay! :) all the radio stations have the song PS. It’s just the matter of getting them to play it that’s the game! But I won’t lie.. I like the game. It makes me crazy. But I like it.
TOUR. Guys. I’m so beyond stoked to play a headlining tour. I’m excited to play new songs, old songs, meet you guys, and PLAY. Our band is so talented and fun and I think it’s gunna be a blast. I’m a little nervous about living on a bus with a bunch of dudes for a while, but that’s why I have perfume. Thank you to everyone who has already bought a ticket for the shows! This tour is not only for us to get out and play, but it’s also to find out how much power you guys have. If this tour does well, let’s just say… Bigger things to come. :)
ALBUM. IT’S ALMOST DONE. I’ve never been so excited guys. All we have to do is shoot the artwork, write some thank you’s and sing a couple more oooos and aaahs. Ya know? I’m really excited to decide which bonus tracks are going where. It’s gunna be like a little hunt. ;) LOOK WHAT YOU STARTED GUYS.
This journey, or as I’m now calling it “career,” has been incredible. Like I said in my ask answer earlier… I want to build a career and you guys are helping us do it. Every single one of you, whether you’ve been here for 5 years or if you’ve been here since yesterday, you’re here. And I love you for that. Thank you for making me happy and making our dreams come true. I love you family. So much.
hi guys. just updating you on the forever-changing Megan & Liz saga. hahaha. we now officially live in LA now.
literally SUCH a big step for us. as most of you guys know, we are from a town (village technically) of 1200 people. 1200. then we moved to Nashville, which was a big step up from 1200 people, but NOTHING like LA. LA is massive, and scary, but it’s also where pop music and the majority of our work has ended up being. we decided we wanted to move because we realized at the end of last year when we were out here for two weeks, then about to head out for Christmas Radio shows, we would’ve been home for two weeks instead of gone. we then realized we weren’t in Nashville……. like at all. it just made sense for us to move out here.
i don’t want you guys to think/worry that LA is going to change us at all. we know who we are and where we come from and that’s who we are/will always be at heart. our momma did an AMAZING job at raising us. let me tell you, the first sign of us changing or anything remotely bad, my mom would be the first to be like “get your butts back home.”
i’m really really excited about this move because there are SO many more opportunities out here. also, 99% of the songwriters who we love are out here, so that means we’ll get to write with them even more.
for now, we’re about to do a big thing for Macy’s over the next 3 weeks, as well as finish up our album. AND as some of you guys know……. new music NEXT. MONTH. i’m seriously so excited to get these songs out there! i can’t wait to share them with you and hear your thoughts/comments on everything! i just love you all so much and i always want you to know that. again…. i know i say this literally SO much but i mean it from the bottom of my heart… THANK YOU for everything. Supporting us, waiting, listening, commenting, watching. Everything. You guys are my world.
i love you.
new cover of “i knew you were trouble.” by miss taylor swift :)